testosterone and words

I had to go to the first coaches meeting tonight since Jeremiah was at 180.   While I’m sure that this should have been a very normal event…I had to do the thing I dread.    Walk into a parking lot full of dads who eventually will be my competitors in a sea of boys in a game built by men.   Sometimes my female-ness feels all consuming.   I’m acutely aware that I don’t fit in.  I’m not the athletic jock kind of girl.  I don’t flirt.  I actually don’t talk to anyone.  My introversion takes over and I think about how I want to instagram this moment.   The last time this happened it was at a missions meeting for leaders in the Twin Cities.  Cue the wealthy old white man parade.  

Which leads me to one of my words for the year.  Here’s how it goes: 

Freedom – Psalm 139 i am made how God made me.  I will choose to be free of the labels that others put on me.   I will discover more freedom in Christ and rely on his definition of me rather than what i hear others say.

 

I sometimes struggle with how God made me.   And then I look to others to make me feel good.   I think there’s a part of me that want’s the good old boys to welcome me into their club.  But I don’t think that Jesus wants me in that club.   He want’s me in the “be thankful for who you are club”.

 

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